Sedan Reviews | Mother Proof

2008 Volkswagen Jetta 2.5 SE Review

Maybe I’m just slow on the uptake, but Volkswagens are much nicer cars than I thought. The VWs of my youth were affordable little cars for hippies and folks who couldn’t afford anything nicer. They were loud and smoky and good only as an excuse for punching my little brother in “Slug Bug.” The 2008 Jetta makes all of that a vague, distant memory.

Some cars are marketed toward families and women, and some are not. The Toyota Avalon falls into the latter category. I hate to sound all gender-centric, but this is a perfectly nice car that’s made absolutely no effort to appeal to my demographic.

If you had an extra $90k burning a hole in your pocket, what would you do with it? Forget about being responsible; how about something totally fun and just for you? How about a nicely equipped Audi A8 to make all the other carpooling mamas insanely envious?

Love is always in the air on Valentine’s Day, and this year my romance came in the form of some hot, sexy muscle. No, this isn’t a trashy grocery store novel, it’s the Audi RS 4 — a sport sedan built to sweep a girl off her feet.

This car slyly glanced my way with long-lashed cat-eye headlights, and I only hesitated a moment, admiring her understated feminine lines, before definitively deciding she’s a gal.

My husband loves those ginormous Chinese buffets that offer miles upon miles of gleaming, steaming cuisine. I, however, know that no matter how much I load on my plate, I will come away unsatisfied. That’s not unlike driving a Mazda6.

As I pulled away from Mother Proof’s Global Headquarters I was pleasantly surprised with the SX4’s ability to perform in the snow. The front-wheel drive easily pulled this little sedan from the stop sign with no wheel spin. About two days into the drive I pronounced it the “Suzuki Snow Cat.”

You may recall that I asked Santa to leave the beautiful Lexus IS F from the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book under my tree. Shockingly, he did not come through on that wish.

Like a good suit, the Accord gives a very nice first impression. I can wear it, er, drive it to the grocery store, to a business meeting, or even to the country club (if I belonged to one). I would be neither pretentious nor sloppy. I would be sharp but not too bold, crisp but not fastidious, comfortable but not squishy. I would be perfectly presentable.

I took my son to a birthday party in a full-blown blizzard in the S5, and she didn’t bat an eyelash. Everyone was all over the place on the slippery, slushy roads, but I just cruised right through like someone who’d had the red carpet cleared for them.

Have you ever been set up on a blind date, only to be told the guy “has a nice personality?” He could be worse, but he also could be better. He’s just sort of average. That’s how I’d describe the 2008 Nissan Altima.

Chocolate and peanut butter, rum and coke — these things sound right. I’m even a fan of less-obvious combos, like pickles and ice cream (no, mom, I am not pregnant). Like that odd pairing, when I say ”Ford Focus” and ”gadgets” in the same breath, it may seem a bit off.

Lucky for my tired backside, it got a little R&R in the BMW 750i’s driver’s seat thanks to a simply divine butt-massage setting. Once I added heat into the mix and extended the optional knee support, not even the call of chocolate could lure me out.

It seems my genius, talented child is barely pushing the lowly 5th percentile in size. That doesn’t get to me because I’m not fooled by appearances; I know good things come in small packages. And so it goes with the 2008 Nissan Versa sedan.

I listened to more classic rock during my week in the Charger than I had in the previous 10 because, well, this car is just too much for overly sensitive music. It’s been a blast. I think I have insight now as to what it was like to be a 17-year-old guy in 1976. And no, I didn’t test the backseat for anything other than car seats, you sickos.

The Avenger strikes a nice balance between design interest (for the modern woman in me), simplicity (for the mommy in me), and cool features (for the feature slut in me), which makes me ready and willing to forgive the great grocery bag hook mishap. But I’m still glad I uncovered it; it makes for a great story.

When I was a little girl, I rode in the backseat of my parents’ car and looked out the window, often commenting, “That car is just like Daddy’s car, but it’s blue.” As I got older, I could name just about every car on the road. Today, that little girl might be a bit confused by the new C-Class offerings from Mercedes.

The driving life with young children is wild in itself. Apart from all the normal kiddie abuse it had to endure, we decided to test the XJR’s survival potential in the authentic wild. Surrounded by everything from bears to mountain lions, this Jaguar should feel right at home, shouldn’t it?

I find myself prioritizing exercise somewhere between "bring old paint to the household chemical roundup" and "clear dust bunnies from under the fridge." So, when a friend asks me to try a pole-dancing fitness class with her (as in, 6-inch heels, hip gyrations and a chrome fixture attached to the ceiling and floor), I am totally pumped. What do pole dancing and the Infiniti G35 have in common?

Driving mini-me cars isn't pretty for a family of four, but that is just part of my gig here at Mother Proof and shows what I'm willing to do for you. Do you feel the love, dear readers? Well, listen up ladies, I'm going out on a limb here to let you know that the Hyundai Elantra is downright roomy. And that means that I can give my thesaurus a much-needed break from the typical frantic search for "small" synonyms.

I am greeted with heated/cooled cupholders (my favorite feature of all). The Sebring R&D team went to Starbucks to inquire about the ideal temperature for their coffee drinks. Per Starbucks' temperature recommendations, the Sebring will keep my tall extra hot two pump chai heated to the perfect degree.

The trunk space is small, in spite of the Divide-N-Hide compartment. What? Divide-N-Hide? What's that? It's a clever false back to the trunk where I can stash my super secret supply of chocolate.

I rush out of the house half-aware of the fallen mitten, hat, and snacks trailing behind me. My hair is standing on end as if lightning is about to strike and I still have a copy of my pillowcase imprinted on my face. As I get onto the highway (and am still running late), I punch the accelerator down and enjoy that pressed-into-the-seat sensation.

When I add my "Max Headroom" sized 14 year-old to the rear seat mix, I come to appreciate the size of the Maxima. My son, who now towers above me, almost always has issues (he is a teenager, after all), especially when I ask him to sit in the back seat of test cars. On this test drive I don't hear any complaints.

I guess I'll stick with my own small heroic gestures. Like actually moving all the chairs out of the way when I vacuum under the table or completely sorting all the laundry before I wash it. I'll make do with waving at people when they let me in while driving in traffic, and I'll use my blinker every time. I am more and more convinced every day that I should make the next car I buy a hybrid.

That gorgeous black paint only stays gorgeous for about half a day before I notice the pattern of greasy children's hand prints. I can handle plain dirt, but the greasy factor on this sleek black seems unjust, and reminds me of two tykes soaking up my cherished night cream to decorate the bathroom mirror (Why the night cream boys — an indispensable tool in my ongoing effort to fade those dreaded crow's feet?)

The car's adaptive cruise control offers even more distraction-free driving. I need this feature to keep me in check because this car is such a rocket! No joke. I spend a great deal of time on this test drive keeping one eye on my speedometer and the other on the road ahead looking for Johnny Law. Seriously.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm not the most adventurous and curious when it comes to on-board computers. Unlike my husband who will sit in the driveway for three hours playing with it, figuring everything out, and falling in love with Audi's MMI. The only thing I want to figure out is how to turn it off.

I have to give Honda some kudos regarding the Honda Satellite linked Navigation System. It is one of the most intuitive navigation systems on the road. I use it to find phone numbers as well as addresses. I literally have the 411 without having to run-up information charges on my cell phone. Even the non-techie girlfriends among us can appreciate that!

How will the Kia Optima measure up in the automotive hierarchy system? Will I expose the court jester masquerading as a member of the royal family or a virtuous knight fighting for the greater good?

Remember when Tom Cruise was still cool and we actually paid to see his movies? That was back in the day of films such as The Minority Report. That was also when plots centering on the Department of Pre-Crime were pure fiction. Imagine a similar world today where vehicular atrocities such as vehicle break-ins and rear-end collisions can be detected and nearly prevented before they happen. Imagine a car that may actually improve your state of health.

The Lexus LS460 will actually park itself. I swear I've seen it with my own eyes. Just trust me and be astonished. This system's official title is the Advanced Parking Guidance System, but I told the kind folks at Lexus it should be called 'Park-Tastic!' Apparently, that's another thought I should have kept to myself.

Driving my children around in such an upscale mode of transportation has me mistaking even myself for the new family chauffeur. The scary thing is that it's not such a stretch of the imagination.

Did I mention safety? Pimp it out with E-Guard (available outside of the US, of course, on the E 320 CDI, E 350 or E 500), a custom built ballistics package, and this vehicle is functional for drug dealers, politicians and parents alike.

Who knew it was even possible to buy a brand spanking new car in the 21st century for as little as $10k? In a world full of luxury vehicles costing more than my college education, the Yaris is suddenly looking very appealing.

I literally have a hard time taking off from a red light without squealing the tires. At first it's unintentional, but then I get a little thrill out of it. By then end of my test drive, my kids are chanting "gun it, gun it, gun it," and I can't help but fall into the pressure. Okay — just for the kids, I'll burn rubber one last time.

I had the opportunity to compare the IS350 to the slightly less powerful IS250 (equipped with AWD). In the IS250 I'm slightly less prone to pretending I'm Danica Patrick at every green light. Oh, it's got plenty of speed, but the IS250 is not a rocket to Ticketsville like the 350.

From the moment I open the door to the Audi A6 I am in love. The doors are solid and close with a very satisfying whoosh and then click. I don't have to fumble with the key to gain entry — when I approach the door it senses the fob and unlocks the door for me. The "Advanced Key" never leaves my cute new summer handbag!

My first Hyundai outing years ago with a college buddy left lots to be desired...I'm not sure who was tackier, the car or the acquaintance. As I enter this new vehicle I am surprised and stunned at the collection of features squeezed into the Azera, and begin to look at Hyundai in a whole new light.

It needs to be said that I'm a sucker for a brrrrright, hot red car. My inclination is to keep one eye on the speedometer and one eye on the on the side of the road where a trooper is bound to see me coming from another hemisphere. I go 5 mph under the speed limit because I'm certain Milano Red will register higher on any radar.

I'll tell y'all somethin'. Lexus ain't messin' around anymore. Maybe y'all already know that (What? OK, I'll drop the twang.) Lexus has really defined itself as its own brand and style, and its new ES350 is a prime example.

The candy-apple red metallic paint job on my test car isn't something I would normally write about, but girlfriends, this car has some serious bling. Everyone who sees me near this car comments on the "velocity red" paint — it is beautiful.

My daughter is very concerned with fairness. Imagine the challenge when I load the kids up in the Civic and there is a pocket on the back of the passenger seat where her brother is sitting and none behind the driver's seat where she is sitting. She nearly comes to tears until I point out that she doesn't actually have anything to put in the pocket.

There is no manual trunk release actually on the trunk, leaving me fumbling for the release button on my key fob. Another option is to place the key in the trunk lock to open it. Who does that anymore? That seems almost as antiquated as turning a hand crank to open windows (don't worry, the Milan does offer power windows).

With a manual transmission I need another pair of hands just to take a sip of my morning coffee. It seems that each time my phone rings or the children need me I am also in the midst of shifting. Holy distracted driver, Batman!

Shrinking forests, global warming, melting ice caps, polluted oceans...yikes! Pregnant mommies can't even eat fish in good conscience anymore, and coupled with all the other "don't eat items," why not just hand moms-to-be, a bucket of pills in lieu of food altogether.

Saturn says the Ion is "Nimble, yet powerful." While it gets up to speed just fine, I would not consider it nimble. It feels stiff (not in a cool, tight, sporty way but in a hard, unforgiving bumper-car-at-the-amusement-park sort of way).

The center console and glove box in the Passat have air vents in them allowing me to direct AC into those compartments, keeping my kids' drinks and snacks cool while driving. That's innovation!

I can't seem to find a clock anywhere within the E350 and I feel a bit naked without one. After asking for help, I'm pointed to the big round analog clock dial right next to the speedometer. Why I never noticed that BIG CLOCK right there in front of me the whole time is baffling. I'm trying not to dwell on it too much for fear of feeling, well, dumb.

Now, I am not one to read manuals in full detail. I would much rather push the different buttons to see what they will do (ask my husband, I just love pushing buttons). There is this one button by the gearshift that I kept pushing to see what it does.

Once the car is fully loaded with four kid-free moms and our weekend luggage, we are off into the land of "not a care in the world." I glance over at my co-pilot with envy, when I observe her fully reclined in the passenger seat (map nowhere in sight, and all copiloting duties forgotten), receiving a facial from the back.

I'm on a budget these days, which means, product-by-product, I sacrifice style and luxury for cheap and "this will make do for now." It means less visits to the spa and fewer additions to my shoe and purse collection. For moms on a budget that still desire a dose of luxury, the Hyundai Sonata is a welcome surprise.

I need to emphasize how fun this car is to drive. I feel pretty dang cool when a young man comes in and asks who has the GLI out front. Waving my hand in the air (maybe a little too enthusiastically) I say, "That's mine!"

I enjoy a perfect moment in time. The test car's gold exterior glistens and gleams in the sun. I feel as though I have been outfitted with sparkly gold-plated armor for the day, which will have me emerge victorious in whatever mommy-battle I may face. That is, until...

The voice recognition system is a nifty idea: Shout out commands, and someone actually listens. There are some bugs to be worked-out. My son's German grandma can't get the commands right. "Find neeerest Gerrrman fud" comes back with "Rear defrost on."

The Nissan Maxima SE offers a stylish eye-catching look, inside and out. It's as pleasing to look at as it is to drive. I find my self creating reasons to run errands, just so I can drive it around town. I think I'll drive my son to the park today instead of my usual walk.

While my husband is tinkering around with the gadgets he flips down the visor. "Whoa! There's a magnifying mirror in this thing. Wow, I could really use some spackling or something, my pores are huge!" It's not every day I catch my meat-and-potatoes husband examining his pores. I give Audi props for providing me with my newest funny story to embarrass my husband.

There are few television commercials I can tolerate these days. There is, however, the exception: Volkswagen's clever ads that never seem to bore me. The motto for the new 2005 Jetta is that "It's all grown up ... sort of." The marketing campaign speaks to me, but does the car?

This car has sex appeal. It's fun, sporty and has a girlish figure. I get a cheap thrill out of playing road-flirt with a couple of college boys driving their pickup truck along the highway. If only they knew my dirty little secret: my son's child car seat (littered with crumbs) is hidden in back.

The 2005 Honda Accord Hybrid is like stepping into the future. With hybrid technology, IMA, TCS and EBD this car is definitely AOIT (ahead of it's time). I, myself, don't know what those terms mean so I'm including a glossary to help explain the jargon.

While digging myself and the car out of five inches of snow with a kitchen spatula, I found that the front and rear defrosters work amazingly well. After running the defrost for a few minutes, an effortless swipe of my kitchen utensil (used only on my nicest Teflon pans) rids the windshield of snow and ice. I bet MacGyver hasn't even thought of that one.

My job as household CEO is to search for the truth behind product marketing. This ranges from instant oatmeal that promises to hatch dinosaur eggs to shampoo that claims to make my hair curlier, straighter, shinier, easier to dry, thicker, fuller, blonder, etc. It's a full time job just filtering the good from the bad, the true from the false. It makes my day when a product actually surpasses what it claims to do. This is the case with the 2005 Mercedes E320 4-Matic sedan.

When I hear "Jaguar," I visualize driving to the ballet decked out in diamonds and a mink coat. How bad could it be living that fantasy for a while?

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