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Story Archive: Car Reviews
of
sedans
The center console and glove box in the Passat have air vents in them allowing me to direct AC into those compartments, keeping my kids’ drinks and snacks cool while driving. That’s innovation!
I can’t seem to find a clock anywhere within the E350 and I feel a bit naked without one. After asking for help, I’m pointed to the big round analog clock dial right next to the speedometer. Why I never noticed that BIG CLOCK right there in front of me the whole time is baffling. I’m trying not to dwell on it too much for fear of feeling, well, dumb.
Once the car is fully loaded with four kid-free moms and our weekend luggage, we are off into the land of “not a care in the world.” I glance over at my co-pilot with envy, when I observe her fully reclined in the passenger seat (map nowhere in sight, and all copiloting duties forgotten), receiving a facial from the back.
I enjoy a perfect moment in time. The test car’s gold exterior glistens and gleams in the sun. I feel as though I have been outfitted with sparkly gold-plated armor for the day, which will have me emerge victorious in whatever mommy-battle I may face. That is, until…
I need to emphasize how fun this car is to drive. I feel pretty dang cool when a young man comes in and asks who has the GLI out front. Waving my hand in the air (maybe a little too enthusiastically) I say, “That’s mine!”
The voice recognition system is a nifty idea: Shout out commands, and someone actually listens. There are some bugs to be worked-out. My son’s German grandma can’t get the commands right. “Find neeerest Gerrrman fud” comes back with “Rear defrost on.”
While digging myself and the car out of five inches of snow with a kitchen spatula, I found that the front and rear defrosters work amazingly well. After running the defrost for a few minutes, an effortless swipe of my kitchen utensil (used only on my nicest Teflon pans) rids the windshield of snow and ice. I bet MacGyver hasn’t even thought of that one.
My job as household CEO is to search for the truth behind product marketing. This ranges from instant oatmeal that promises to hatch dinosaur eggs to shampoo that claims to make my hair curlier, straighter, shinier, easier to dry, thicker, fuller, blonder, etc. It’s a full time job just filtering the good from the bad, the true from the false. It makes my day when a product actually surpasses what it claims to do. This is the case with the 2005 Mercedes E320 4-Matic sedan.
When I hear “Jaguar,” I visualize driving to the ballet decked out in diamonds and a mink coat. How bad could it be living that fantasy for a while?
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