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How Do You Respond to Road Rage?
Dec 03 2007 by Courtney Messenbaugh
12/3/2007
What’s Better: An Eye for an Eye or a Smile for a Bird?
There I was, driving along, minding my own business. I looked into my rearview mirror and suddenly, out of nowhere, some guy in a truck is driving so close he’s practically in my trunk, and he’s got his middle finger up and is shaking it furiously at me. He probably carried on in that manner for a good 10 minutes, at which point he had to turn to get wherever he was going and could terrorize me no more.
I’m not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction, but it left me uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable not only because the guy was a total nut job and I was kind of scared, but also because my reaction to him was so sheepish. Really, it was a non-reaction. I was so aghast that he was behaving like such a maniac that I just shrunk down and kept driving. Couldn’t he see that I had a baby in the car with me? Didn’t he know I’m a very nice person? Um, apparently not – or he just didn’t care.
I have replayed the scene a hundred times in my head since it happened and still haven’t come up with a good way to respond to such road-raging antics, so I decided to seek help. Where do we gals go when we really need help—the kind of help that will be foolproof? To our girlfriends, of course! I decided to poll my beloved girlfriends across the country to see how they would respond to getting flipped the bird. Boy, oh boy—or I guess I should say girl, oh girl—did they give me some good material to work with!
I now have an arsenal of responses to use when the proverbial bird flies down the road at me. My friend Annie, who is always super sweet, dramatically smacks the side of her head as if to say ” I’m an airhead and am sooo sorry! My mistake!” if she happens to inspire some obvious rage on the road. She said this response usually causes people to relent and sometimes even wave back as if to say, “It’s OK.” Not too shabby.
My friend Jeanine – who drives a 90-mile commute to work, mind you – kills the bird-flipping perp with kindness. More to the point, if she makes the mistake of getting in front of someone who feels the needs to speed up and threaten to make their two cars into one before slamming on their brakes and flipping her off, she blows them a kiss and continues on her merry way. Love it.
Or maybe the next time I encounter a real road-raging, finger-flipping wacko, I can do what my friend Renee does: Pull out my cell phone and act like I’m reporting him or her to the authorities. Renee said that always makes the perp take off like a shot to get away from her. Bye-bye, mean guy! Truth be told, I don’t even know which authorities I’d be calling, but apparently it works.
Then there’s Allison, who used to live in D.C., where drivers apparently aren’t shy about flipping you off. Al said that initially she fought back, giving the finger right back. “Oh boy, did that feel good,” she told me. But then her dear old dad had to go and ruin her fun by reminding her that she might get herself shot in high-crime D.C. So one day after a very relaxing yoga class, she changed her tune. She found herself driving down a particularly crazy street when someone startled her out of her yogic state with a middle finger and a long, loud honk. Instead of her finger flying out the window, she yelled, “Go to yoga!” Now, who could disagree with that?
Perhaps best of all, there’s Tamra, who told me she just always figures she’s right and they’re wrong. “Damn them for flipping me off,” she said, “it’s their fault for being in the lane I was getting into.” Well said, my friend!
User Comments
In this particular example it sounds like you were on a two lane road where he could not pass. I would have ignored him and kept driving just like you did - he was trying to get you to speed up or react in some way to validate his actions so by ignorning him you proved that he wasn’t going to get the better of you. Too bad you didn’t catch up with him later. I LOVE driving to work in the morning and being passed by a nutty driver only to catch back up with them in traffic 20 miles down the road - just beep, smile and wave at them! You will get the finger, but it will make you laugh and them feel like an idiot!
For guys, the “blow them a kiss” won’t work. Therefore I always give them a smile when they flipped me with the bird. (Because I know I am going to catch up with them when they hit the red light anyway.)
If they are tailing me like the situation described in the article, my naughty left foot will do the job of scaring them away automatically, because my car’s brake light are just sensitive to the touch.
I think the best response is to stay alert and get out of the way. We often attribute car accidents to the crazy “road ragers”, but often accidents are caused by slower drivers not paying attention to the road. The best policy is to always drive with both hands on the wheel, one eye on the road and one in the mirror. The best way to make them go away, is to get out of their way. It diffuses the situation quickly. We often wonder why people are in such a big hurry, but you never know when it could be some sort of emergency, or if someone just lost their job…..just give them their space.
As a driving instructor I’m used to seeing the bird and whilst it staggers me that some drivers have forgotten that they were a learner at one stage.
But the driving up to your bumper to intimidate is happening more often - not just young men but women as well.
It must have resulted in accidents and injury but I don’t hear about the police pulling people over for it.
It’s so much worse when you have a baby or a child in the car - it’s terrifying - and I hope the police start to do more about it.