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Avoid These Deadly Parking Lot Sins
Oct 22 2007 by Emily Hansen
10/22/2007
Holiday Insanity Behind the Wheel
Last week, my observant 8-year-old daughter asked me, “Mom, why does the grocery store have Christmas stuff out already? It isn’t even Halloween yet.” My jaw dropped. I think I’ve become numb to the holiday creep of the retail world over the years. Since she asked this question, though, I have become hyper-aware of the impending commercial onslaught that is Hallowthankschrisanukkahanza, which runs from October through December.
Among other things, this time of year seems to make people lose their senses. One of the places that phenomenon is most apparent is the parking lot of the local shop-o-rama. It’s as if the money escaping our wallets has sucked all common sense out of our heads. Here’s my list of the worst holiday parking lot offenses to keep in mind this year:
The Space Squatter: This is the driver who will sit, seemingly for hours, waiting for a family of six to change the baby’s diaper, pile all their purchases, strollers and gear in the hatch, then buckle in all four children, waiting for them to vacate a spot just 8 feet closer to the store than the next open space.
The Space Lurker: Like the squatter, time does not seem to be this driver’s priority. He lurks around, driving slowly up and down the aisles, waiting for the aforementioned family of six to get loaded up. Then, when he finally sees the slightest backward creep, he drives like a bat out of hell to get the spot. Let it be said that this driver tends to lose out to the squatter.
The Space Bandit: This driver clearly sees the turn signal that the Space Squatter has been flashing, but by virtue of size or gumption, he steals the spot right out from under the too-slow Squatter.
The Space Hog: Finally, my all-time favorite — the driver that parks his car diagonally to protect it, suggesting that his sense of entitlement is as big as his car payment. Don’t be that guy.
I have just one piece of advice left for you: Park far, far away from the store and enjoy the walk. It’s totally worth your sanity, and it’s better for your body.
